Posts Tagged ‘Saving Your Marriage’
Saving Your Marriage – Advice for Men and Women
Lately, you may have noticed things in your marriage are starting to falter. You’re probably wondering what you can do to fix things but you may be coming up empty handed, especially if it seems you’re the only one trying. Divorce is the last thing you want though.
Don’t panic, there are things you can do that will help in saving your marriage. We often wonder if we are speaking the same language as our spouse because there are things that we might say that get the opposite reaction we expect. And there are of course things our spouses say that rub us in an unattended way. These small differences in the way we perceive things can lead to marital problems if not addressed.
Saving Your Marriage Involves Some Very Basic Rules
You must understand what it is your spouse is trying to relay to you. For example, when men go silent, it usually means they simply have nothing left to say but a woman on the other hand who is silent…well that is a different story altogether. Chances are you’ve done something to upset her. Saving your marriage will require an understanding of these differences. If your man is silent don’t be offended, he isn’t ignoring you and guys, if your lady is silent, you’d better figure out what you’ve done to upset her.
Ok, point number two is for guys. Just because a woman is in a bad mood does NOT mean she is experiencing PMS. For you to even imply that is taking a wrong way turn onto a one way street. Trust me friend, that isn’t a place you want to go.
Another common difference between men and women is the way in which we confront our problems. men, in igeneral, don’t like to talk about what is on their mind and if you try to pry you might get a very angry husband. Guys, I know you don’t want to talk but rather than making your wife pry you need to realize that communication is vital to saving your marriage.
Now, ladies on the other hand are more likely to want to discuss their problems and its a good idea to try listening for a change. Walking away and pretending nothing is wrong is only going to make things worse. It may fix them for the moment but your lady has a memory like an elephant. She’ll remember every single thing you’ve done wrong for the next six months.
While women may want to talk about their problems it does not mean that they are looking for you to fix everything. Most women are totally capable of taking care of themselves and would just like to let off some steam. There is a reason after all you have two ears and only one mouth. You’ll find that a little silence at the right times will go a long way in saving your marriage.
Both men and women like to know that they are the apple of their partner’s eyes. Try telling each other how much you love one another more often and how much you appreciate the other. Guys, try cuddling with her without always expecting sex afterward. Sometimes, its nice to know that you can be held and loved without having to give something back in return.
It is key that you work through any problems in your marriage as they occur rather than waiting. In this way you can start saving your marriage before it is ever really in jeopardy. The last thing you is someone to become so distant from the other that it leads to an affair or divorce.
These tips for saving your marriage don’t just apply if things are rocky however. You should always be aware of how your partner is feeling and vice versa. Marriage is a give and take and no marriage is perfect. Remember that when you are thinking the grass is greener on the other side.
If you’d like to learn more ways to saving your marriage I recommend you check out Save My Marriage Today.
So things aren’t going as planned but that doesn’t mean its not worth saving your marriage. But the question is what can you do? If saving your marriage is your top priority there are simple steps you can take to stop a divorce.
Some relationships are too far gone but these tips will work more times than not. After all most marriages start having issues long before they reach the point of no return.
If you’re the only one who feels like its worth saving your marriage try being quiet for a bit. Don’t say anything at all. Don’t complain, don’t beg, just zip it up. Carrying on about how you don’t want to split up is the worst thing to do.
At this stage the whole idea is to make yourself more desirable to your partner and carrying on about saving your marriage is likely to annoy them. Instead focus on making things run as smoothly as possible which should make it more likely your spouse will open up to the idea of staying together.
When you first started dating your spouse I bet you were on your best behavior all the time, right? Everyone behaves that way to win their lover’s heart but somewhere along the lines we tend to get a little too comfortable in our marriages and our actions may start to backslide. All of a sudden wooing turns to complaining and nagging and life can become repetitive. The excitement drains from the marriage.
Its best to recognize this behavior and take action to get back to that “courting” behavior. Most people will be surprised to see that their partners will start to mirror these actions and the butterflies come floating back into the marriage.
Now, when we are comfortable within our relationships we tend to be very bold. If our spouse says or does something we don’t like we have no problem letting it be known. Saving your marriage means that you need to back off just a little bit. I’m not saying you need to be a doormat because that’s not a healthy marriage but sometimes let your spouse have their way. It can add a real spark to your bond. The last thing you want is to give your partner the idea they can’t say or do anything right!
I hope these simple steps help you to begin your journey to saving your marriage. Remember, you don’t have to do these things forever but for now we are in rescue mode. Once the immediate danger of divorce has passed then you can begin to work on a more even marriage.
If you’d like to learn more powerful techniques for saving your marriage I suggest checking out the Save My Marriage Today home study course. It has helped more than 51,000 people repair their relationships. In fact, it comes with a 100% money back guarantee.
Saving Your Marriage Requires Trust
Building trust in your relationship is going to be a challenge no matter the circumstance but especially in a case where one partner has had an affair. In that case it may even take several years to regain total trust but its a must in saving your marriage. Contrary to what television would have you believe marriages do survive affairs. (this doesn’t mean its ok!)
If you are the one who had the affair then you must be willing to accept responsibility and apologize if you are serious about saving your marriage. Trying to justify it through your partner’s actions will only backfire.
Trust is something that takes time to build. It wont happen overnight but not to worry because if you are successful in saving your marriage you are going to get to spend the rest of your life with this person.
Actions Speak Louder than Words
Simply telling your spouse that you love her or him doesn’t equate to instant trust. As my father used to tell me, trust is earned not given. There had to have been trust in your marriage at one point or you wouldn’t be married.
Whatever has happened to break down that trust can be repaired. When you make a promise to your spouse keep it; period. All the words in the world won’t mean squat if you don’t follow through. For example, if you say you are going to be home at a certain time but can’t make it, call ahead and let your spouse know. Its the little things that make the difference.
The Truth Shall Set You Free
If you are serious about saving your marriage never keep secrets. Keeping secrets is basically the same thing as a lie and you already know that you should never lie to your spouse. If you want to build that lasting trust you must be prepared to be totally honest no matter how painful. Your partner will appreciate you for it. As you prove yourself your spouse will be eager to do the same and a mutual faith will start to build. This is the beginning of a very strong bond you will ultimately develop.
These methods have been proven effective again and again for repairing damaged relationships. To discover more methods such as these check out Save My Marriage Today.
As the door clicked behind him, Jim knew this could be the last time he ever heard that familiar click. He couldn’t stop replaying the scene that had unfolded the night before, Tammy screaming at him to get out. Where had it all gone so wrong…weren’t they happy?
Perhaps you can relate to the above story in your own life. Love is the strongest emotion you will ever feel and when a marriage starts to fail it may seem fatal. The good news is there is hope. The following article examines five strategies for saving your marriage you can employ to get your lover back.
1) Be Realistic
2) Be Dependable
3) Be Encouraging
5) Take Action
Now, hold on. I know what you’re thinking…NO KIDDING Jim, but hear me out on this.
If you ever hope to make a go of your fresh start be realistic with each other. A fresh start won’t work if you don’t address the issues that caused the break in the first place. Simply brushing those things under the rug or ignoring them will only worsen things in the long run. Saving your marriage is something that requires work to fix the problems that caused the break.
Next, you need to show your lover how dependable you can be. You may not be “the perfect couple” anymore but showing your spouse you can be there for them during this “off” time will go a long way in saving your marriage and strengthening your future relationship.
Ever wished you had your own personal cheer leading section? Of course, and so has your spouse. One of the things your lover will miss most after your relationship ends is the encouragement you once offered them. If you can cheer your spouse up when they are down, you’ve got a great shot at saving your marriage.
When a relationship ends both sides tend to lay blame at the other’s feet but this won’t do anyone any good. Instead of bickering back and forth try listening to your ex. You’ll be surprised what you can learn when you take the time to open your ears and close your mouth. With a little patience you will quickly be on your way back into your ex’s life. Go ahead and let your ex bounce their problems off you. You don’t have to solve em, you just have to give them a way to vent.
Last but not least, DO SOMETHING! Sitting on the sidelines crying about your lost love won’t get you very far. You wait around thinking about how to get your ex back long enough and someone else will have already stepped up to take your place before you make your move. Problems certainly don’t fix themselves and neither do relationships. Saving your marriage takes love and WORK.
You can rekindle your marriage but you’re not going to do it sitting in that chair feeling sorry for yourself. Get up and take action!
Not sure where to start but desperate to fix things? Its ok, you’re not alone. I recommend you check out the Save My Marriage Today system.